The New 65: Redefining What’s Next
Reflections on belonging, purpose, and making space for ourselves
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately — taking stock of where I am, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed next. Part of this comes from life milestones. Both of my parents passed within the last few years, and all our kids will be off to college soon. Suddenly words like retirement and relocation have become part of my conversations.
My dad retired from his aviation engineering career at 63. He often said it felt like a mistake. After 32 years with one company, he spent the next 30 making a hobby out of his yard and house, sprinkled with trips to favorite spots and visits with the grandkids. He loved it — but he always felt he had more to give.
That won’t be my journey, at least I hope it won’t be. Today, 65 feels more like the new 55. I don’t have three pensions like my dad did. So finances at an older age today are more challenging for several reasons. I have work I love doing, a wife younger than I am, and a teaching role that keeps me engaged and connected. This chapter doesn’t feel like an ending. It feels like a beginning — about belonging, making space for myself, and leaning into passions long deferred. But I am still figuring it out.
Not the 65 Our Parents Knew
The world has changed. We’re living longer, working longer, and reshaping ideas about aging. At 65, many of us aren’t looking to stop working altogether. We’re teaching, consulting, mentoring, starting second careers, or exploring passions we’ve put off for too long. The traditional idea of retirement doesn’t fit as neatly anymore. And I think that’s a good thing.
Then there’s the question of belonging or where we reside. Do we stay rooted where we’ve been for decades, surrounded by comfort and memories? Do we move closer to friends and family, find a warmer climate, or stay right where we are — only with a new outlook? The answer is as personal as the path we’ve already taken.
Here in New England, many still dream of Florida or the Carolinas — chasing warm weather, a slower pace, and lower taxes. But that dream has evolved for some. Between climate change impacts on various housing issues, politics, and rising living costs, the conversation has shifted a little. One example of new possibilities is finding a place (either your current home, a downsized home in your area, or relocating to a smaller home) as a home base — and using it as a launchpad for travel and meaningful time with friends, family, and new places you’ve always wanted to live or just visit for extended stays. Shape it any way you want. No rules.
Even work itself is being redefined. More people I know expect to work into their mid-70s or beyond — as long as their health allows. Not because they must, but because work gives structure, belonging, and purpose. The key to making that work? It has to be something you enjoy, making more space for rest (time off), reflection, and deeper connections during the year — things you’ve earned as someone who has been working since the 1970’s or 80’s.
What Is Retirement, Anyway?
Retirement, as I understand it, is a relatively new concept. Created in the 1930s when Social Security came about, it was designed for a manufacturing society world where people lived roughly until age 67 — a way for society to care for its elders for a short period. Before that,America was primarily an agrarian society, where most people worked until their bodies gave out. Farmers farmed. Lawyers practiced. Small-town doctors tended to patients for as long as they were able. Multi-generation homes were the norm.
Today, we’re circling back to some of that idea — making work, passions, and belonging central threads throughout longer, richer lives.
Retirement doesn’t have to mean stopping. It can mean reshaping — slowing down intentionally, making room for deeper connections, focusing sharply on passions long deferred, or trying something completely new away from the career or job you had.
I read once that if you’re 65 and your health span is roughly 85 even if you have a lifespan of 95, hence you have about 20 active summers left if you are fortunate. The math says do the things that matter. Do the things that excite you. My mother, at 80, spoke of returning to Bermuda where she and my father honeymooned. I told her, “Go now. The odds of going later get smaller every year.” She never went, and she got ill 4 years later and passed away a few years later.
That lesson sticks with me. There is no “later”. Whatever your dream is — do it. Stay where you are and live fully. Try somewhere else new. Stay connected to friends and family. Stay connected to passions that fuel you. Whatever path you choose, do it consciously and intentionally. It’s your life, your movie, make it yours.
The Emotional Side of Change
This chapter doesn’t come without questions or moments of doubt. Letting go of an identity wrapped in a career takes time. We aren’t just our jobs or careers, and reshaping ourselves can be both liberating and disorienting. For some, leaving a role they’ve held for decades can even affect their health. It’s not easy. Aging is not for the faint of heart.
Choosing where to live can feel like an adventure and an ache — saying goodbye to a chapter that shaped you and saying hello to one that’s still being written. It means making space for belonging in a world that doesn’t always make that easy. Selling a long‑held family home, buying a new one, and planting roots somewhere new at 65 or 70 isn’t for everyone. But staying put can be harder for some.
And that’s where the richness lies. In the questions. In moments of uncertainty. In the possibility of creating a chapter that’s truly yours.
What Will You Do With This Time?
This is the biggest question we can ask ourselves as we approach 65 and beyond. It’s the question I find myself thinking about more and more. I am very aware this may be one of the last “dreams” and “choices” I make. Which is so weird. It was just a few years ago I was in my 30’s raising kids, what the heck happened?
Will I stay the same? Will I redefine myself? Will I lean into belonging, passion, and long‑held dreams? Will I try new paths I’ve only wondered about?
The beauty of this chapter is that we have more say than ever before. These years aren’t a countdown. They’re an opening — an invitation to evolve. It’s pretty cool when I think about it.
For myself, I’m trying new things, exploring new sports and hobbies, growing emotionally as much as I can. I think it keeps both the brain and body sharp. Remember when we were in our twenties and thirties, raising kids, building careers? It was exhausting for me at times. Now that I have a bit of space, it’s time for new things — for giving back, growing, speaking out, enjoying my family, and living more intentionally and fully.
Final Thought: The New 65 Is a Beginning
Sixty‑five isn’t an ending. I think it’s a new chapter — one about belonging, purpose, and making space for ourselves in a world that has changed as much as we have. It’s about looking forward with intention, accepting the questions, and embracing the possibilities only this chapter can hold. For me, I still want to work. I love teaching, being on a college campus. After decades of work, the last 10 years finally feel like I am doing what I was meant to do. Why do I want that to end? I can create adventure in the weeks and months between semesters. I’m lucky that way, my job gives me plenty of time to recharge. Each year will bring new questions, challenges, and decisions, but if I stick to being more intentional, maybe I can create more of my own “movie” and not one defined by society over the previous 100 years.
I’m doing my best to figure out how to live better, be a better husband and father, and try on some new dreams. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do think those of us from the tail end of the Baby Boomer generation have a chance to redefine what it means to be 65 and beyond — just like we reshaped what it meant to be a teenager in America all those years ago.